Monthly Archives: July 2008

The Auction That Got Axed

Posted on by Run DMT
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Back by popular demand!  The auction that eBay doesn’t want you to see.  I’ve reprinted the item description as well as the photos from the auction.  I’ve also included the side by side comparison of Emmalynn and Heath Ledger as The Joker.

VERY USED Two Faced Lash Injection

Last Wednesday afternoon, my lovely 3 year old daughter decided to use Mommy’s Two Faced Lash Injection mascara to create her masterpiece on my bathroom vanity.  Unfortunately, my eyes have been naked for a few days now since the dreaded incident.  I can’t afford this make-up and really have no business buying it the first place; therefore, I can’t afford to replace the items.  So, in a desperate attempt to find a means to replace the items and make myself feel beautiful again, I came to the decision to sell the instruments of destruction (err…I mean…my little Monet’s tools) to help raise funds to replace the items.  Because my little Monet used my eye-defining brush as a paint brush to create her mascara masterpiece on my bathroom counter, I am unable to use it, so I am throwing it in as an added bonus to the winner of this auction.  I have tried everything to remove the black tar from the brush, but nothing has worked.  Hopefully, the winner of this auction can try her hand (or his hand – Forgive me, I don’t mean to be gender-biased or insensitive.) at a way to clean the brush.

To be an honest ebay seller, I feel I owe each future bidder an explanation as to what transpired on that quiet afternoon.  It was one of those days when my children were unbelievably well-behaved and I am sure I heard a choir of heavenly angels singing that day.  Perhaps, it was a natural phenomenon related to Tropical Storm Dolly sucking all the moisture and bad behavior out of Florida and pouring it all over Texas.  I believe scientists are studying this theory, but regardless, complete silence is never a good thing, as any parent knows.

Honestly, I embraced the silence in my home.  On the rare occasion, my children will play nicely together and when given the chance, as in this case, I seized this uncommon opportunity to check my e-mails uninterrupted and to sweep my kitchen without children running through my neat little piles.  Although silence is golden, too much quiet is never a good thing.  So, after some time, I decided to check on my 6.5 year old and 3 year old in the playroom upstairs.  I discovered my oldest daughter playing alone.

“Where’s your sister?” I asked her.

“I dunno”, she replies.

Uh oh…..I immediately ran into my bathroom. There, I found my youngest child all dolled up like Robert Smith of The Cure and redecorating my bathroom. She had created her latest and greatest masterpiece with my Lash Injection mascara, my Bare Minerals™ make-up and Bare Minerals™ eye-defining brush. 
 
My oldest daughter tried to comfort me. “It’s o.k., Mommy. We can buy you new make-up. I’ll help you clean up.” With that, she started to sweep the floor for me. (How sweet was that?) Then, she offered to put her sister in the bath for me.  So, I continued to cry and attempted to clean my bathroom while oldest daughter bathed her sister. When I checked on her in the tub, I couldn’t help but laugh at the state of her. My oldest daughter tried to clear the make-up from her sister’s face, but while trying to remove the mascara, my 3 year old looked like Heath Ledger as The Joker. 

My little Monet had painted all over herself and on many surfaces in my bathroom.  She also traced the decorative freeze tiles along the sides of my garden tub with the mascara.  Bare Minerals™ powder had been poured all over my tile floor and sprinkled it into the tub.  I didn’t yell. I didn’t scream, but I began to cry. I was so overwhelmed by mess and I didn’t even know where to begin to clean.  

It took me an hour to clean the mess (err..I mean, masterpiece.  I don’t mean to squash her creativity.).  God bless the person who invented the Magic Eraser™!  It took another 20 minutes to remove the make-up from my daughter.  Thank you The Body Shop™ eye make-up remover!

A few days have passed since this whole scene went down and now, I think it is the most hysterical thing. It’s a rite of passage that all kids go through during the preschool years.  However, my face is still naked and that is no laughing matter!

On a side note, Two Faced Lash Injection is fabulous!  If you like thick and long eyelashes, then you will love this product!  There might be a trace left in the tube for you to sample after winning this auction.  It doesn’t flake or give you raccoon eyes like other brands.  I am a former L’Oreal Lash-Out™ girl, but Lash Injection is well-worth the money.  Now, if only I could afford to buy another tube!

 

Also, if you haven’t made the switch to Bare Minerals™ make-up, you don’t know what you are missing!  It is everything the infomercial claims to be.  I love it! 

So, help me replace these items.  Bid now!  Thank you for your time and support!

As for a returns policy, there is none.  I hate to be a hard-nose, but all sales are final.  Seriously, you know up front that you’re buying a used tube of mascara and you’re getting free shipping with your purchase.  Plus, you’re receiving a grubby eye-defining brush as a bonus.  What more can I give you? 

 

For your viewing pleasure, I have included a picture of the item for sale as well as pictures of my daughter’s handiwork.  Again, thank you for visiting!

 

 

Going once…Going twice…GONE!

Posted on by Run DMT
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Ebay pulled my auction.  How can I feel pretty and get pity when eBay prohibits the sale of used cosmetics?  What’s with all the rules eBay?  Can’t a mom make an honest buck off the backs of her children? 

Here’s the list of items that ebay prohibits:

Since small children are not on the list, I have decided to list Emmalynn.  The bidding begins at $0.01.

This reminds me of an old Shel Silverstein poem.

For Sale

One sister for sale!
One sister for sale!
One crying and spying young sister for sale!
I’m really not kidding,
So who’ll start the bidding?
Do I hear a dollar?
A nickel?
A penny?
Oh, isn’t there, isn’t there, isn’t there any
One kid who will buy this old sister for sale,
This crying and spying young sister for sale?
(Where the Sidewalk Ends, 1974)

 

 

Babes and Bums and My Badunkadunk

Posted on by Run DMT
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Since this blog is called “Run DMT”, I owe it to my fans readers to post something about my training.

 

My next challenge is the Babes and Bum Triathlon on August 9, a mini-triathlon consisting of a 3.1 run, 10.5 mile bike and 1/8 mile swim.  Although the date is fast approaching, I am no way prepared for this race.  Between my oldest daughter home for the summer, the humidity, my allergies/asthma, and the many margaritas consumed this summer, my training regimen is completely out of whack.

 

For Independence Day, I participated in the Lutz Independence 5K run.  Seems simple enough, right?  I’ve run farther distances!  I started the race off strong running 7 minute miles, but then I got the worst stomach cramps imaginable.  I’ve read on-line that diet and dehydration can really wreak havoc on you in the summer months.  I’ve also read that running faster than your breathing can cause cramps, but nonetheless, I had to walk quite a bit throughout the race.  I was so upset!  I have trained so hard and have run longer distances and yet, I could not run the entire race.  Oh well.  My time was still pretty decent despite the cramps (29:10).

 

Lori, Leslie and me at the Lutz Independence Day Run

Lori, Leslie and me at the Lutz Independence Day Run

 

To be ready for the triathlon, I am giving up the margaritas.  Well, I am at least cutting back on them! LOL They are my vice at the moment and “once it hits your lips, it’s so good” (Frank the Tank, Old School 2003).

 

The greatest challenge for me at the moment besides the margaritas and the heat/humidity is the fact that I do not own a bike.  Seems silly to train to for a triathlon when you don’t own a bike, right?  Well, I am not the glass is half-empty kind of gal!  Where there is a will, there is a way and my way is sneaking into my girlfriend’s gym and riding a stationary bike for 10.5 miles.  My sister, Simone, and my friend, Lori, have offered to lend me their mountain bikes for the race, which I’ve heard are not the best bikes for triathlons as they are much slower and heavier than racing bikes.  When riding the stationary bike, I’ve set it to the highest resistance level, so hopefully that will prepare for riding a mountain bike in the race.

 

As for the swimming component of this race, I’ve have been swimming 8 laps in my community pool but it has not been easy for me.  In my mind, if I practice to swim further than the actual distance, then it will seem less of a struggle the day of the race.

 

It’s time to get serious again!  I will make a concerted effort to run 3 times a week again.  As I mentioned already, summer vacation has caused my whole routine to be jumbled.  Prior to summer, I was running 5 miles twice a week and 10 miles on Sunday.  With all our traveling and non-stop trips to Margaritaville, I am quite behind in my long distance runs.  Now that summer is coming to an end, I am able to redirect my focus and get back on track.  So, far this week I ran 4 miles.  I will run 5 miles on Friday and 8 miles on Sunday.  Hopefully, it will only take me a couple of weeks to reach 10 miles again.

 

As for my cross-training, I love kick-boxing! I’ve recorded dozens of episodes of In Shape with Sharon Mann.  Her shows kick my badunkadunk, especially boot camp and kickboxing.  On my days of rest, usually the Monday after my long run, Sharon and I do some yoga.

 

Today, my friend, Lori and I plan to visit the new Lifestyles gym that opened in Lutz.  We have a week’s free pass and I am excited to try out the group fitness classes.  I haven’t decided if I will join because I enjoy sneaking into my friend, Julie’s gym.  It’s so quiet there at the crack of dawn.  Since I start my day around 5:00 a.m., I can check my e-mail and then dash off to work-out while my family sleeps.  When I return, I jump in the shower, get dressed and by the time I am finished time, my house is alive and everyone is ready to start the day, including me.  If I join the gym, I may become lazy and start my day later and find myself readjusting my routine again.  There is only so much time in the day to work-out, blog, run a moms’ group, attend playdates and raise a family!

Another Year Older

Posted on by Run DMT
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A beautiful birthday cake made with love by my DH and children.

A beautiful birthday cake made with love by my DH and children.

 

Sunday was my 29th birthday.  I have celebrated my 29th birthday for 8 years now. ;-)

As a birthday present to myself, I have decided to begin an on-line journal, or should I say blog.  For quite sometime now, I have been wanting to blog on a real blogging site, not just posting on myspace or adding discussion threads to entertain the moms in my mommy group.  I mean real, honest to God blogging, like real writers do. 

I’ve heard to reach an audience as a writer, you need exposure and what better way to do that then blogging.  Besides, good writers must constantly write in order to refine their craft and become better writers.  I don’t know if what I do is any real craft by any means, but it’s good for the brain.

As I’ve already mentioned, Sunday was my birthday.  I spent the day at the beach with my family: Allan (my husband of 8 years), Allana (my oldest daughter, age 6.5) and Emmalynn Jaime (3).  It sounds like a lovely day, right?  Can you picture my family frolicking joyfully in the sand under the warm Florida sun?

 

Me and my girls at Honeymoon Island State Park

Me and my girls at Honeymoon Island State Park

 

Well, that isn’t at all what happened.

I woke up early and decided to go for an early Sunday morning run.  After a 7 mile run in the blazing heat and humidity, I returned home to find my oldest daughter decorating the house for my birthday.  She informed me that my birthday breakfast of Kashi cereal was waiting for me on the table.  My husband was still in bed and my youngest daughter was watching TV in the playroom.  Obviously, we would not be getting an early start for the beach.

I awoke Allan and told him I was jumping in the shower to cool down after my run.  After my shower, I threw on my swimsuit and headed downstairs.  My family sat around the kitchen table waiting to give my present.  Allana hands me a shoebox fastened with a sparkly pink sash.  I opened the box.  Inside, there was a new hot pink and white polka dot pajama top, a small stuffed dachshund toy, a few coins, a digital chicken watch and a compass.  Then, Allan handed me a birthday card and said, “I’m sorry but I didn’t get you anything.  I didn’t know what to get you.”

So, I swallow my disappointment and remind my family that we are heading to the beach today for my birthday.  “Oh.  You still want to go?  Allan replied.

“Yes, that was the plan, right?”

“Well, it’s kind of late and I know you wanted to head out early.” 

“If we get moving, we can still get an early start,” I replied.  Then, I realized that the girls were not dressed and nothing has been packed or loaded into the car for the beach.

And then, Allan became the miserable man he often turns into when he is forced to something he doesn’t want to do.  He can’t just suck it up and take one for the team.  Any SAHM (or any mother for that matter) will know what I am talking about.  We are constantly forced to do things for the sake of our family, like washing poop out of panties, for example.  Not my idea of a picnic at the park, but somebody has got to do it.

So instead of making the day the best birthday possible for the birthday girl, it quickly turned into a-not-so-great birthday for Mommy.  My children fought and whined the entire time at the beach.  My DH wore a puss as he sat under our beach umbrella.  He didn’t build sandcastles with his children.  He didn’t swim in the gulf with his girls.  He just sat there like a bump on a log. Yay.

My husband sitting under our beach umbrella

My husband sitting under our beach umbrella.

As the day went on, I became more and more frustrated with thoughts on how I received no gift from my DH followed by a miserable time at the beach.  I was so upset.  How could he not know what to get me for my birthday?  For months, I mentioned on multiple occasions how I wanted new running shoes.  I also commented many times that I needed an apron.  Now, I know men are not the best listeners and often tune out their wives, but after 13 years together, how could he not think of something?

Two years ago, he bought me a weeping willow tree which he planted in the backyard with the girls.  I loved that present!  Last year, he planned a surprise party with my girlfriends.  That was a GREAT birthday! 

Sandhill cranes standing near my weeping willow.

I understand that times are tight with the rising cost of gas and groceries, so I wasn’t expecting anything extravagant, but I was expecting a little something more than miserable company at the beach.

 

 

Welcome to my world!

Posted on by Run DMT
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Thank you for visiting my blog!  You can read my rants and random thoughts by clicking on the tabs above or the links at the right.  Feel free to leave comments.

Check out my friends and fellow bloggers featured in my Blog Roll.  I’m collecting friends blog sites, so let me know if I should add you to my list, but you must be blog worthy. ;-)

BTW…Have you seen my ebay auction yet?  Momma needs a new pair of running shoes! :-)