The morning after the rapture, I checked my forehead in the mirror for the mark of the beast. Pleased to find a mark-free forehead, I went for a post-apocalypse morning run. However, I became a little nervous when I saw NO ONE on the road, not even cars on their way to church. I assumed the churchgoers had been saved from impending earthquakes and being swallowed up by the earth. Then I spotted other runners and I realized runners can withstand earthquakes because we’ve got tiger blood. Sinning!
Thankfully, my family and I are still here along with most of my Facebook friends and Twitter followers, who admitted being left behind through a rapture roll call. If Saturday, May 21 was Judgement Day, being left behind doesn’t feel so bad if I can spend it with my loved ones and live to see another beautiful day. This is my heaven.