My Matron of Honor Toast

This is the speech roast…er…I mean toast I gave at my sister’s wedding.  For your viewing pleasure, I’ve also included a video of the toast.  Thank you, Randi for recording it.


When Simone and I were kids we would put on these elaborate productions and skits for parents and their friends.  It usually involved costumes and costumes changes for each number.  We even brought our childhood friend, Jen, into the act.  Do you remember our theme song?  Can you help me?


It’s Showtime!  It’s Showtime! 

It’s get up and go time!


I tell you the Sweeney Sisters had nothing on us!


Well, this is one hell of a show you have put on here today.  You’ve raised the bar.  Jen, I don’t know how we are ever going to top this.


Simone and I were always very proud of our ancestry.  I always felt more connected to the Italian/Spanish side of the family and Simone felt more connected to our French heritage.  In high school, I took 3 years of Spanish and Simone studied French for 2 years.  Despite Simone’s years of grueling translations and repetitive drills, the only French expression she remember is “J’aimerais une tomate”.  I would like a tomato.


Simone even went through a phase where she added an accent mark to the “e” in Simone, which caused everyone to pronounce it “Seemonay”.  I guess she thought it made her more ethnic, more worldly, more exotic or even European.  It just confused everyone.


In recent years, Simone has been rediscovering her Italian heritage.  As you know, Matt and Simone will be spending their Honeymoon in Venice and touring Italy.  She has even learned to speak the language: Gucci, Prada, Dolce and Gabana.


With those champagne tastes, I feel so sorry for the man she marries.  DOH! Sorry, Matt!  Sucker.


Simone and I were never into the Guido type.  As you can tell by our husbands, we even picked pasty partners.  We also picked some pretty tall men to marry.  The Mestanza family is evolving.  We’re even starting to walk up-right.


But, they make a great couple, don’t they?  Some people call the perfect couple bookends.  Since the beginning of our dating days, my mom shared the charming expression, “Every pot has its cover” with my sister and me.   


Well, Simone and Matt couldn’t have found a better match.  This pot has truly found its cover.  Now, I don’t know who is the pot or who is the cover.  I guess that would determine who likes to be on top.


So, here’s to Simone and Matt.  The pot has found its cover.






  1. lindsay says:

    ps (and sorry for the multiple comments) but why don’t you throw your hips around a little more 😉 lol. really great job woman. this made my day.

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