Flatlining or Steady Heartbeat?

With expecting a new baby, Allan and I decided to change churches and a few weeks ago, we began the process by participating in the church’s membership class. It’s been an interesting journey offering many opportunities for self-discovery. Each week is like a little workshop that delves into understanding yourself, your role in the church and how it all leads up to serving God. Last week, we searched for our heartbeat and I realized I have no pulse.


Your spiritual heartbeat is defined by your passion. What motivates you? What lights your fire and fulfills you? How does your passion serve God?


I could easily answer the first and second questions. I am passionate about so many things: my family, my children, my friends, running, writing, my mom’s group, teaching, connecting with people, charitable acts, politics, women’s issues, humanity and the environment. But for this week’s assignment, we had to tie it all up in a neat little bow with a concise label and for me, my passions didn’t seem related to one another. Each of these things is so different from one another, how do they ultimately lead me to serving God?


I knew I needed to pray about it and have daily conversations with God to find the answer. The search for my heartbeat continued for days after last Sunday’s membership class, but I knew eventually the answer would arrive.


While waiting for an answer or some sort of sign from God, my thoughts were also preoccupied with my friend, Jackie. It would be two years since her daughter, Julia, passed and I knew this week would be difficult for her. As I prayed for her family every day, by chance I bumped into her at our Target. I hugged her told her that she was in my thoughts and if she needed anything, I would be there for her.


An hour after seeing Jackie, I received an e-mail stating that I had been selected for a paid writing job. Then the next day, one of my posts was featured on WordPress’s homepage. Some might call these occurrences simply a coincidence but for me, it was the validation I needed. The things that I was most passionate about were also the things that God recognized as my heartbeat.


Although I still can’t put a label on any of it and fit in all into one neat little package, I understand a bit more about what fulfils me even though I knew it all along, but now I understand how it all relates to serving God. These things (running, organizing my mom’s group, being there for my family and friends) don’t drain me. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. They fill me up with fervor and conviction.


So, what is my heartbeat? “Living life in a way that helps others”


Whether it’s being a SAHM, volunteering at my daughters’ school, leading a moms group, organizing a food or a collection for the needy, writing about my life and all it encompasses (running, children, friends, etc) IS my heartbeat. I am passionate about it all.  By simply being me, I am is serving God and helping others. I live life to the fullest.


My life is my heartbeat.


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