“Hey youuuu!” 

I would sheepishly greet someone I recognized while their name escaped my brain even though I have known said person for over a decade. It felt like a bizarre game of Password as my brain searched for clues. “Your kids went to daycare together. WHAT IS THEIR NAME?!”

About two years ago, I began to experience severe brain fog, however, it was more than a scattered multitasking mom brain or the typical ADHD adult brain. What I experienced was a far cry from my usual favorite mom brain pastime, “Why did I come into this room?” For me, this brain failure felt far more frightening.

I was forgetting WORDS. 

As a blogger and online content creator, I live by words. Words are how I make my living. I would speak like a person not familiar with a native tongue while wearing a puzzled expression on my face. “Ummmm….What do you call the thing that changes the channel on the TV?”

After witnessing my father’s decline with onset dementia, I wondered, “Is this how dementia starts?”

On top of the brain fog, I was also experiencing hot flashes (or hot flushes, the term the medical community prefers) and night sweats, which also disrupted my sleep patterns and caused insomnia. So, I explained away the brain fog as a symptom of not sleeping. As a fitness influencer and group fitness coach, I understand the importance of a good night’s sleep. Sleep is key to living a healthy lifestyle.

Then, I began to see belly fat and hair loss. On top of losing my mind, I started losing my hair. I felt my mind and youth slipping away.

Between half a dozen hot flushes, not sleeping, losing my mind and hair, I became increasingly anxious and depressed. 

I tried to manage everything best I could, but I felt isolated and alone. 

Then, one of my favorite Spotfy podcasts,The New York Times: The Daily featured an episode on their recently published story, “Menopause is Having a Moment.” In this episode, I learned that journalists who made their living on words were experiencing overwhelming brain fog in addition to other common menopause symptoms.

Before listening to this podcast, I had no idea brain fog was a symptom of menopause as well as all the other symptoms I faced. I no longer felt isolated. I felt validated. 

In this episode, I also learned the history of HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), which addressed the myths and facts around HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy).

And then the algorithm gods began to bless me with more menopause content. Dr. Jen Gunter, author of The Menopause Manifesto, appeared in my Instagram feed. On social media, Dr. Gunter shares reasonable, compassionate content regarding menopause. I felt seen. 

As I read her very informative book, menopause begins one year after your last period (one year without a menstrual cycle.) I realized all of my symptoms were textbook and Dr. Gunter strongly advocates HRT to reduce symptoms. After suffering for nearly a year with all of my symptoms (brain fog, anxiety, insomnia, depression, hair loss, etc),  I decided to speak with my gynecologist at my next appointment.

With a simple greeting from my gynecologist, “How are things?” I erupted into tears in the examination room at my annual visit in September 2023. Things did not feel right and they had not for over a year.

Through my manic sobs, I explained all of my symptoms and how I felt I was losing my mind. She took my hand and said she would prescribe HRT which would greatly reduce my symptoms. In fact, I should notice relief within a few days.

I have been seeing my gynecologist for about 15 years. Dr. Laura Dill delivered my son and treated me for postpartum depression. She has seen me through perimenopause and now, Dr. Dill would guide me through my menopause journey.

After nearly a year of feeling miserable, I was not so optimistic, but willing to try anything to feel normal again, or at least be able to get a good night’s sleep without looking like I wet the bed.

A few days later (as she assured me), I woke up rested and my clothes were dry, not drenching in sweat. I believe at that moment the heavens opened and a choir of angels sang their glorious praises. Hallelujah! Praise be, HRT!

Later that same morning, I noticed my first morning routine hot flush free. I did not sweat while drinking my morning tea, nor did I sweat my eyebrows off as I penciled them on my face. No discarded damp tissues on my bathroom counter to blot the sweat. I had arrived and it felt amazing.

For me, HRT saved me.

A year later, I still sing the praises of HRT with anyone willing to listen, including openly discussing the topic with my friend, Loraine Laddish of Viva Fifty on her podcast. On social media, I often share how glorious I feel and beneficial HRT has been for me. Now, I realize HRT is not for everyone, such as anyone with a history of breast cancer in their family. However, for me, HRT was a game changer.

As reported in The New York Times, there is a lot of misinformation and fear-mongering surrounding HRT. In many cases, holistic health practitioners will push a supplement over actual care, which does a great disservice for reproductive healthcare. 

Sadly, our mothers listened to the fear around HRT and suffered the dreaded “change” in silence. Today, in other countries, hormone therapy is readily available and much more common practice. Remember the Super Bowl commercial?

As the “Heat on the Street” Astellas Super Bowl commercial demonstrated, it is important for women to make menopause conversation more mainstream and let women know they are not alone. You are not going crazy. What you are feeling is real.

The more women discuss menopause and this phase of life, the more aware society will become. Knowledge is power.

If you believe you are in menopause or perimenopause, please speak to your doctor and discuss your hormone therapy options.

Are you going through perimenopause or menopause? What symptoms have you been struggling with?

Did you know that October is Menopause Awareness Month?

I may have known that October is Menopause Awareness Month once before, but I’m blaming it on my menopause brain that I forgot or the fact that menopause can occur 5-15 years after the onset of perimenopause. Coincidentally, around this same time 15 years ago, I shared another blog post about my perimenopause diagnosis.

To also honor the Menopause Awareness Month and World Menopause Day on October 18, destigmatize menopause and shift the conversation, there’s a new documentary, The M Factor, which will air on PBS on October 17. Will you watch the film?